How to Deal With a Child With Separation Anxiety


Many young children are experiencing separation anxiety these days, which can be a tricky matter to handle if you don’t know what’s causing your child’s fears. Parents of 3-6-year-olds may find themselves feeling overwhelmed when trying to understand a child’s anxiety when they are away. It’s important that parents learn how to deal with a child with separation anxiety so they can address it properly without causing a scene.

In this blog post, we will look at a child’s anxiety more in-depth, how to deal with a child with separation anxiety in public settings, and when to seek professional help.

Table of Contents

What is Separation Anxiety?

Separation fear is a normal part of development in young children, usually between the ages of 3 and 6. This intense fear or worry occurs when a child is separated from their parents or caregivers. Separation fear can manifest itself in physical symptoms such as stomachaches, headaches, difficulty sleeping, clinginess to parents, crying spells, and tantrums.

In some cases, a child refuses to go to school or participate in activities away from home.

Separation anxiety typically develops when a child begins to understand the concept of object permanence — the idea that objects (or people) still exist even if they are out of sight. As this understanding increases during early childhood development, so does the fear that something bad might happen if they are not with their parent or caregiver at all times. It’s important for parents and caregivers to be aware of this stage in order to help their children cope successfully.

Identifying Separation Anxiety

Common signs that your child may be experiencing separation anxiety include:

  • Excessive clinginess or distress when separated from you.
  • Difficulty sleeping without you nearby.
  • Fear of being alone in their room or away from home.
  • Nightmares about being separated from you or other loved ones.
  • Physical complaints such as stomachaches or headaches when they anticipate leaving home.
  • Difficulty separating from familiar objects like toys or blankets.

What Causes Separation Anxiety?

Parents may find it tricky to pinpoint the warning signs of separation anxiety in their young children. Potential causes of this phenomenon include:

  • Genetics (if one parent has experienced similar issues).
  • Environmental factors (such as moving frequently).
  • Traumatic experiences (like losing a loved one).
  • Developmental stages (common in kids between 3-6 years old).

It is important to note that some level of attachment during this stage is normal. However, if your child’s behavior becomes extreme then you should seek professional help.

Coping Strategies for Parents

Parents of kids struggling with separation anxiety can be uncertain about how to handle it. Establishing a routine is one way to help your child feel more secure and comfortable when away from you. Having consistent bedtimes, meal times, and activities throughout the week can provide structure for your child that will make them feel safe.

It is also beneficial to create a safe space in their bedroom or another room in the house where they can go if they feel overwhelmed or anxious. This could be as simple as having a few favorite toys or stuffed animals, playing calming music, and a cozy blanket they can snuggle up with while taking deep breaths until they are ready to rejoin family activities.

Positive reinforcement and rewards are also important tools for helping parents manage their child’s separation anxiety. When possible, say goodbye without too much fuss or give praise when they voluntarily go to daycare.

It is important not to reward negative behavior such as clinging onto you at drop-off. Instead, redirect their attention elsewhere so that the behavior is replaced with something positive like counting down from 10 before entering the building together. 

how to deal with a child with separation anxiety


How to Deal with a Child With Separation Anxiety

Prepare Ahead of Time

Knowing what to expect in a public setting can help reduce the stress and anxiety associated with separation. Before setting out, converse with your child regarding the location you are going to and what will occur when you arrive.

Reassure your child that their feelings of anxiety are valid, while simultaneously letting them know you’ll be close by and they’re safe. It may also be helpful to practice being apart from each other in short increments before heading out into a public setting.

Reassure Your Child During the Process

Once in a public setting, it is important to stay close to your child while still allowing them some independence. Letting them know that you are available if needed can provide reassurance during this time.

If possible, bring along an item or toy from home as a comfort object for your child during these outings. What’s more, do not make too much fuss about their demeanor as this could further heighten their uneasiness.

If your child is experiencing anxiety that lingers or becomes more intense, seeking assistance from an expert is essential to guarantee your kid’s safety.

When to Seek Professional Help?

In some cases, separation anxiety can be severe and require professional help. If your child is having frequent meltdowns when leaving home or school and this behavior is disrupting their daily life, it may be time to seek professional help.

There are a variety of options available to treat separation anxiety disorder. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one type of treatment that focuses on helping children recognize and change negative thought patterns associated with separation anxiety.

Exposure therapy is another way to treat separation anxiety disorder that gradually exposes the child to increasingly difficult situations involving separation from parents until they become more comfortable.

In certain circumstances, pharmaceutical intervention may be recommended to address the intensity of a child’s separation anxiety symptoms.

Seeking professional help can provide many benefits for both you and your child. Doctors know how to effectively support your kid during times when they confront intense emotions.

Moreover, seeking professional help can equip your child with the means to successfully manage these feelings in a healthy manner.


Managing separation anxiety in young children can be daunting, but know that you are not alone. Parents of children with separation anxiety need not feel helpless. With the right resources, you can learn how to deal with a child with separation anxiety in healthy ways.

We invite you to explore our website for tools and strategies that will help your family manage this difficult time together. Our goal is to provide practical solutions so that you can better understand, support, and care for your little one who may be struggling with these emotions. Let us walk beside you on this journey as we offer hope through education and understanding!


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